Monday, 15 December 2008

Friday, 12 December 2008

I Hate Those Neuro-Mantics

I've just received this email. It made me LOL (see what I did there?)

Thursday, 11 December 2008

More Ground Glass, Darling?

This is the press release for the new band from that awful woman that used to be in The Distillers. The description of her new band makes me want to lie in the road and die.

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Sweet Spell Of Success

This just in from an LiS operative deep under cover:

Full marks for gratuitous (and inexcusably misspelt) Obama mention - and in a nifty 'you think this'll be a nice thing but, ooh no, it's just a tribute, haha!' manoeuvre, too.

I don't even know who these people are but - goddammit - they keep sending me rubbish stuff...

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Amplified []
Date: 2008/12
Subject: Amplified 3.0 / Q-Tip Special!

Amplified 3.0 has arrived!
To celebrate the launch of our new album we decided to make a few changes to our website that we think you'll like. Enjoy the new features including videos, DJ mixes and mintapes THE MEAN MIXTAPES, and purchase the new Amplified album! Click here to view the new look AMP site.

Q-Tip/Tribe special @ Marketplace

On November 4th Barak Obama OH JESUS, IT'S BARACK OBAMA, BARACK OBAMA, SURELY IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO GET THAT RIGHT, IS IT? made history. This day also saw the first official Q-Tip release since 'Kamaal The Abstract' 6 years ago EXCEPT, FAMOUSLY, KAMAAL THE ABSTRACT WAS NEVER ACTUALLY RELEASED. To celebrate the release of 'The Renaisance' THEY MEAN RENAISSANCE there will be a special Q-Tip and A Tribe called THEY MEAN "Called" Quest tribute included @ December's Collabo. WEVZ, YEAH?

Friday, 5 December 2008

Rubbish UNCUT Quotes In Press Releases: 1

La Roux's Quicksand

"Brixton’s answer to Annie Lennox"

Wow! That bad?

Thursday, 4 December 2008

O Brother, Why Art Thou?

"And, yes, I've just been told I can hand you straight over to a senior LiS reporter at the scene of yet another horrendous PR pile-up..."

One presumes Tones from Triad Publicity is doing this because the old Creation ties die hard. Certainly, the fact that he's let the the idiotic third Gallagher brother write most of it suggests he's not filled with faith in the product. But how can one have faith in a product whose genesis is described as follows: "We met (owner) Gerry O'Boyle and had a few drinks... and then David Soul appeared. A few shandies and a lot of chat and eyeballing later, a club night was born...” Paul, there is a difference between "irony" and "being a talentless nothing"; you should explore that difference by consulting a dictionary. What kind of no-brained, cretinous scenester thinks the idea of David Soul singing in a pub offers any entertainment possibilities whatever? Wouldn't you rather scoop out your eyeballs with plastic cutlery than attend?

As for the market research that went into the night — I also liked the idea of a night every 2 months as real LEGENDS just don’t play every month, we have to make it special every time. And I also like Tuesdays, so the 2nd Tues of every 2nd month...” — well, that's more or less what we'd expect from a Gallagher, eh? Paul, you're not a legend. And I'm so interested to hear you like Tuesdays. Well done. Now, have you been to the toilet recently and do you want your medicine now?

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Epic Awfulness

I've never heard of Kinkane. I imagine you haven't either. They are supporting The Who at the o2, a fact that, for reasons too convoluted to go into, just makes me think they must be terrible. Anyway, if you think I'm being unfair, why not just sit back and treat yourself to the second paragraph of this press release? I think it might be time to revive the idea of some sort of award for awfulness.

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Can You Tell Who It Is Yet?

This isn't a mistake - this is the band's actual logo.

Can you read that? To me it looks like The Unglians or The Vinegars, or maybe even She Uriglim? Has there ever been a worse logo in the history of logos?