Wednesday, 16 September 2009

My Rock Biog Hell: Alita's Purse

Are they called Alita's Purse? Oh, I can't remember, anyway, who cares? A biog like this is going to turn off way more people than will ever listen to the band. Why do people do it? Why didn't someone go, 'You can't send this out as your biog, it's laughably bad! It's one ball-aching cliche after another. Haven't you got even one tiny slice of imagination? Oh, hang on, apparently it doesn't matter because your HARD ROCKING and DEDICATED and stuff. My mistake!'

Thanks to the senior LiS operative that sent me this.

From: Bill Cummings
Date: 2009/9/10
Subject: Alita’s Curse release their new download single ‘BLAH’ on BLAHBLAH
To: Alita's Curse Info []
Hello there,

I'd like to introduce you (if you haven't heard of them before GOOD START!) to a new rock band from London I'm working with called Alita's Curse BAD NAME. They have a new download single AMAZING! out BLAH. If you'd like a hard copy to review it can be arranged because hey HE MEANS "THEY" are currently being sent out to many radio and press outlets REALLY? THIS BAND MUST BE GOOD IF THEY'RE SPAMMING, LIKE, THE FLY WITH THEIR STUFF. You can hear the single and other tracks on their BORING BLOG or alternatively if you'd like the download to review off there's a yousend BORING!. Press release below, and artwork attached. We welcome all features, reviews, airplay and interviews YES, I'M SURE...


“Delicious – designed to turn a crowd into a sea of flailing limbs NICE. Fans of rock with a twist NICER should be feasting NICEST on it!”


Hard rocking HARD ROCKING! London based four piece Alita’s Curse release their new single ‘BLAH’ as a download only BAD LUCK release through BLAH on BLAH. It’s backed up by explosive EXPLOSIVE! LIKE AN EXPLOSION! live track ‘BLAH’, which will be available completely FREE via BLAH on the same date.

Alita’s Curse burst CLICHE ALERT onto the London scene CLICHE ALERT n 2009 with a sound that’s steeped CLICHE ALERT in the hard-edged power CLICHE ALERT of their addictive CLICHE ALERT rock songs. Their new single ‘BLAH melds CLICHE ALERT the insatiable melodies MEANINGLESS CLICHE ALERT of Guns and Roses HE MEANS GUNS N' ROSES with the explosive CLICHE ALERT, unstoppable CLICHE ALERT old school rock CLICHE ALERT of early Black Sabbath CLICHE ALERT, but crucially CLICHE ALERT it’s shot through CLICHE ALERT with their own experiences CLICHE ALERT of relationships HE MEANS THEY GOT DUMPED ONCE in the modern world and this is what makes them stand out CLICHE ALERT from the crowd. It’s a sound forged on hard work CLICHE ALERT, constant gigging CLICHE ALERT and a complete conviction CLICHE ALERT in everything they do.

In early 2009 they played their debut live show in front of a 700 strong crowd at Camden’s Dingwalls, and instantly CLICHE ALERT turned the mob CLICHE ALERT into a pit of fans gagging for more BULLSHIT CLICHE ALERT. Immediately following this with a headline show at IBAR "NEVER HEARD OF IT": THE WORLD, they turned in a bigger crowd than signed support act Imperial Vipers BIGGER THAN THE VIPERS' CROWD? BUT THEY'RE SIGNED? THAT'S AMAZING. The band were then offered a headline gig at Monto Water Rats in June when the venue’s promoter reacted to the buzz the Curse have created since the debut gig in April THIS BIT NEEDS A LOT OF WORK. This comes after another headline slot at the famous Purple Turtle "NEVER HEARD OF IT": THE WORLD in Camden on May 24th. Look out for more live dates this winter in support of their new single.

Earlier this year their powerhouse sound CLICHE ALERT caught the ear CLICHE ALERT of TV production giants BLAHBLAH who contacted Alita’s Curse to film them performing for a new multi million dollar BLAH Channel show titled “BLAH BLAH BLAH” filmed at Kentish Town’s HMV Forum. The show will be broadcast worldwide in BLAH.

Since then they’ve gained GAINED! radio play with Totalrock radio who also offered the band a festival slot AMAZING!, Xfm on John Kennedy’s Xposure show, and most prominently Ian Camfield's The Rock Show with debut release "BLAH" - Alita’s Curse are becoming a force CLICHE ALERT to be reckoned with CLICHE ALERT. The band will continue recording their debut album “BLAH BLAH” throughout the remainder of 2009 with more single releases to come between now and 2010.


BLOKE 1 – vocals/guitar
BLOKE 2 – guitar
BLOKE 3 – bass
BLOKE 99 – drums

No comments: