Friday, 20 February 2009

Eating Rifles

What do we want? "Real" music! When do we want it? Not yet, maybe in a bit! Real music? You can stick "real" music right up your whatsit. Just the idea of it makes me want to throw myself out of a window. No music is "real", it's all made up, it's all confection and artistry and smoke and mirrors and, basically, lying. That's what makes it good (the stuff that is good, a lot of it is rubbish, but that's not related to it's "real"ness). Anyway, this just in from an LiS operative in the field.

I quite like The Rifles. I might even go and see them again. But sadly I am on a gluten-free diet, so will have to give them up as this press release suggests they are glutens for punishment. Awful, yes. But not as awful as the rest of this.

"The Rifles musical heroin" isn't a sentence. Is it too much to ask of Momentum PR that they might be able to type the quotes in correctly?

Also, this press release was sent to me on February 16, telling me the album is out January 26 and that I can pre-order it by buying tickets.


From: Nola Kinna []
Sent: 16 February 2009 12:47
To: undisclosed-recipients:


“There's an intoxicating maturity...that is harder to ignore the second time around” Q

“Punk-tinged ska which also packs heartfelt pop hooks” The Sun

“The Rifles are here to pop the collars on your metaphorical Harrington” The Word

“As anthemic as anything the Jam put their name to.” Clash

“All stomping , pedal to the metal guitar riffs. The Rifles musical heroin – Loaded

As the dust finally settles over the UK, the extent of the damage caused by a colossal 40 date Rifles tour is felt throughout. Sweat, blood, tears shed for the cause! As if gluten GLUTEN! AMAZING! for punishment, the East London regiment are preparing to mobilise for a further March 09 tour, determined to storm the national consciousness and plant a flag for real music. OH BRILLIANT!

If Sold Out shows at venues like Brixton Academy or the release of an exhilarating second album, ‘Great Escape’ aren’t victories enough, try this boot on for size LITERALLY TERRIBLE WRITING THERE. The Rifles are offering fans the opportunity to pre-order ‘Great Escape’ out 26th January for a discounted price, when they purchase tickets for any of the live shows available at

For further information please contact Nola Kinna at Momentum PR on BLAHBLAHBLAH

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