Thursday, 23 July 2009

Tray's Jesus!

I realise that a PR person's reason for existence is to make up utter crap about products that no one actually cares for, but surely there are limits? I mean, even PRs need to keep at least one jaundiced eye on their self-respect, no? Ermmm, well...


Hello LiS. I've just been sent this, the first paragraph is just epic!

From: Simone Plackett [mailto:s.plackett@roman-showers.com]
Sent: 22 July 2009 16:21
Subject: Roman Press Release- To Infinity and Beyond

To Infinity and Beyond

Roman, the UK’s leading shower designer and manufacturer announces a massive MASSIVE! break through in tray technology YOWSA! with the launch of their Infinity range of shower trays. The installation of shower trays will never be the same again NOT NEVER, EVER AGAIN! with this ultra minimalist level access tray.

The Infinity Tray is designed to seamlessly blend into the bathroom flooring to offer complete level access without the need to step up into the enclosure. The Infinity Tray is manufactured from Roman Stone, a solid surface material which is self-reinforcing ensuring the tray remains strong, smooth and durable. The self-reinforcing nature enables the tray to be laid directly down to joist I AM GETTING AROUSED NOW, so that once the floor tiles are laid it creates level access into the showering area. For those that are still reluctant to install a wetroom this level access tray completely simulates the wetroom experience whilst offering the reassurance of a tray - it is an exceptionally versatile product.

The unique and flawless styling of the Infinity Tray has been designed with a single angle flow to waste to maximise flow rating I DON'T THINK ANYONE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THIS BIT MEANS, SORRY. The waste is suitable for power shower systems and carries away an exceptionally high flow rate OR THIS BIT, SOZ. This exclusive chic look is completed with a stylish load bearing solid surface waste cover, whilst still providing access to the waste for cleaning. The contemporary white finish ensures the Infinity Tray complements all bathroom fittings

Roman’s key ranges are aimed at BORING BORING BORING or ability.

David Osborne, Managing Director at Roman, commented: “I AM, ACTUALLY, QUITE TEDIOUS.”

Please do not hesitate to contact me if there is anything I can help with.

Kind Regards,

Simone Plackett
Senior PR Executive
Roman Ltd
www.roman-showers.com

3 comments:

Oddcult Archive said...

Wow. I thought a 'roman shower' meant something completely different to that, and wondered where this was going.

highersites said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oddcult Archive said...

^
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Spot the shameless flack. Come on... don't you even read this site?

No wonder no bloody PR agencies will give me a new job at the moment. I'm actually vaugely competent and that would mean I'd never fit in...