Keeping Abreast Of Events

This just in from an LiS reporter in the field.

This genuinely made me laugh and laugh. I love how he gets all over-excited and misspells that brilliantly awful pun as soon as the release starts. But also, this is a great example of a terrible pseudo-news release pretending to be urgent and in fact being entirely relevance-free. (And when I received it the whole thing was in like 20 point as if it were SHOUTING.)

But then again - haha! Buffwaffe! Hahaha! Then again, Muffwaffe would have been funnier.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Johnny Beverton [Outpost]
Subject: TITSKRIEG! GERMAN NUDISTS THREATEN TO BARE ALL AT SOME FESTIVAL

TIKTSRIEG! oh dear GERMAN NUDISTS THREATEN TO BARE ALL AT SOME FESTIVAL

SOME Festival is currently seeking legal advice regarding the proposed attendance of 30 nudist ravers from Berlin who have contacted the festival via a link on the new website. Festival Director BLOKE'S NAME said: ‘I think it all started two years ago when we had a guy from San Francisco stark naked and painted purple from head to toe cavorting round the festival all weekend. At one point he was picked up by security, but we had him released as he was actually quite entertaining and a really nice bloke.”

The man BLOKE refers to also attended last year’s Festival but was this time painted orange. YES, YES, GET ON WITH IT NOW. When he arrived on site he was given a hero’s welcome by the Festival crowd and it seems that somehow the word has since reached Germany that SOME FESTIVAL is sympathetic to nudists. OK - HERE WE GO THEN...

The group of nudist ravers who have got in touch with SOME Festival regarding their attendance attend selected summer dance events in Germany including the BLAH Festival, where, apparently, a liberal attitude towards public nudity exists. ‘We are not too sure what to do to be honest’ said BLOKE. ‘I asked them if they would be prepared to wear fig leaves or something and even explained that it can get chilly in England in the summer, and that THIS IS RUBBISH, BUT KEEP GOING ANYWAY maybe, at least the guys amongst them might be happy to cover up their shortcomings, but they said it was out of the question as it would compromise their right to party naked. I told them they could probably get away with it provided they all paint themselves different colours and don’t hassle anybody.’

SOME Festival are all up for people letting their freak flag out, after all, that’s what the SOME Festival is all about at the end of the day YEAH, SURE. TRY SELLING DRUGS OR TAKING IN YOUR OWN ALCOHOL OR HAVING SEX IN THE OPEN TO SEE HOW KEEN THEY REALLY ARE ON YOU LETTING YOUR "FREAK FLAG FLY".. Ideas being bounced include creating a nudist enclosure and calling it Buffwaffe.

SOME Festival lawyers are looking into the legal connotations of knowingly allowing a group of people to commit mass indecent exposure at a ticketed event. YEAH, I BET.

SOME won Best Dance Festival at last year’s BLAHBLAH Awards and is a 10,000 capacity event, visited by dance music and free spirited aficionados from around the world (IE TWATS). SOME is known as one of Europe’s best underground electronic festivals and will blahblahblahlblahblah....[sniiiippp]