"Phunk Rock" - The Full Horror

This is so bad it actually makes me want to kill myself. For a start, Phunk Rock is the single worst idea ever, then there's the press release itself. Why put inverted commas around the band's name? Why mention "funky vibes"? The witless construction of this will take your breath away. Why send this to me? What have I done? Guess how many times I heard about 'Cherry Blackstone' again? if you guessed none have a peanut.

------ Forwarded Message
From: **
Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2006 14:12:04 +0100
To: **
Subject: Introducing.... Cherry Blackstone

Hi **

I just wanted to drop you a quick e-mail about our exciting new client 'Cherry Blackstone'

CherryBlackStone is the exciting new sound to come out of London. It is impossible to make direct comparisons, however if you mixed the funky vibe of the Black Eyed Peas, added a UK edge and melodic influences as diverse as Prince, the Beatles, Bowie and Coldplay you might be getting close! This is the new London sound Phunk Rock!!

Featuring vocalists Jade Jones (ex Damage, and The Games winner), ReDD and Andrez Harriott (ex Damage) also on the drum, the band formed 3 years ago when the three friends started collaborating musically. The next phase involved putting a live band together that could translate the emotion of the music to an audience. Through auditions, they found three highly talented and totally committed musicians: Ashton Miranda, the Keyboard player, Rupert Caney, the lead Guitarist and Tom Driessler, the Bass player and Cherry Blackstone become complete.

They started gigging in May 05 and by Jan 06 had a residency at the world famous Half Moon pub. The guys will be playing at the free Southbank Music Festival this Sunday. Cherry Blackstone are the resident band on the new series of Bo Selecta and will be playing tracks from their forthcoming album each week on the Channel 4 hit show.

The single 'Kushti' is released on October 30th the video has just been added to The Box and The Chart Show.

I can't wait to hear what you think!

OK! Here's what I think. I think they're the crappiest thing ever. How does that sound?