Great! Then we have just the magazine for you!
FROM: "Karen Dickinson" email@example.com
SUBJECT: It's not just men who are from Mars
It’s not just men who are from Mars. New magazine suggests needy women are causing the nation’s moggies to display inappropriate or unacceptable behaviour. PetPeople, officially the world’s largest circulation pet focussed customer magazine, launches today with a remit to celebrate the joys of pet ownership. ARE YOU LISTENING, LADY SINGLETONS?
In the first issue, Animal Behaviourist and qualified veterinary nurse, Vicky Halls’ article, ‘Is the man in your life a cat?’, lays to rest the cat / spinster myth. In her survey of moggie owners, more than half of the women - 50.000000001% - who participated were married or cohabiting, and a third were under 30. Single or happily married SINGLE, Vicky is convinced that our moggies are struggling with the complex emotional needs of women, and that over-bearing relationships are leading cats to display inappropriate or unacceptable behaviour. OH JESUS Nearly half of respondents woke their cats up to give them some affection and 93% of people admitted to looking for their cat around the house if they hadn’t seen them for a little while. She suggests that humans wouldn’t be too impressed by such possessive behaviour by their partners. THESE WOMEN ARE INSANE
Petplan will provide expert help from leading vets, behaviourists and dieticians, plus insightful, and very often humorous, feature stories on everything from the perfect pet-friendly garden to dispelling the ‘mad cat lady’ myth. IF IT WAS A MYTH YOUR MAGAZINE WOULDN'T EXIST
The first issue of PetPeople will have a distribution of 600,000 copies. Readers can request a copy of Vicky Halls’ article, ‘Is the man in your life a cat?’, or further information on the magazine by emailing the team on BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH