Thursday, 21 August 2008

Ha! He Means Drugs!

Do you see what he's done here? James has mixed up - deliberately, mind - the record label he works for, Columbia, and the planet's 26th largest country, Colombia, home of FARC, the Witoto, Páez and Tucano people and, more to the point, mountains of delicious, snow-white bugle. A to the Mayzing! Thanks to a LiS reader in the central London area for sending me this.

------ Forwarded Message
From: []
Date: Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:12:28 +0100

For all of those of you at Reading & Leeds this weekend - We have a fine array of Columbia's finest in not in the hospitality toilets!!!! but onstage.

TWISTED WHEEL - Named in this weeks NME Bands to watch of the weekend (attached here)...This fantastic new band from DELETED are already setting a blazing trail into 2009. They have just recorded their debut album with DELETED in DELETED and will be on tour for the rest of the year. They release a single 'DELETED' in DELETED and are around for interviews.

the METROS - Peckhams HE MEANS PECKHAM'S finest will be around as well to talk about their debut album which will hit stores on DELETED and all their recent mischief and escapades of which there are many. You can see them in the current issue of DELETED & making Rosamund Pike look good in the new DELETED. Hit us back with any requests yo!

RAGE & TENACIOUS D will not be doing Press interviews onsite but will both rock your f**kin' socks off. NO THEY WON'T - THEY ARE UNFUNNY NOBS

For Those about to rock we salute you.

Hit me back with requests:


Dave the Flack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dave the Flack said...

A paraphrase of Suetonius' Life of the Divine Claudius. Orginal. Oh. Wait. Although clichés is what this site was created for, non?

To be honest I'd rather have Columbia's finest (doimeandrugsyesidonoidontohbutidoreally) rather than experience some of James' cack he is passing off as being as good as a bump of decent gak.

By "Columbia" I mean the country that produces excellent cocaine - rather than SonyBMG, which seems to be producing the musical equivalent of crushed up asprin. And desperately hoping people won't feel the rasping of inactive filler clogging their nostrils.


Dave the Flack said...

< /irony>

Lost In Showbiz said...

I love your work, Dave. And, by the by, I only learnt what a "Flack" actually was the other day...

monkey_business said...

An opportunity to hear about the "mischief and escapades" of The Metros? Of which there have been many? They sound like such scamps - I really can't wait to find out what they've been up to. Presumably stealing traffic cones, or something equally cheeky.

"Hit us back with any requests yo"? I really really really hope this phrase was used knowingly. But to be honest, used knowingly or otherwise, it would be enough to ensure that I would not be hitting anyone back.

What a load of old cock this really is.

Lost In Showbiz said...

"What a load of old cock" - that could be the strapline to this whole blog, couldn't it?

Dave the Flack said...

I had to explain the definitions of hack and flack to a friend the other day as well.

For those still confused, it's rather like the relationship between a pig farmer and the pig:

Flack = PR operative = purveyor of wholesome shit of all varieties

Hack = time-pressed journalist = happy to bathe

monkey_business said...

I did think that it was quite applicable to most of the press releases on here, but that one struck me particularly so.

But if you're in the market for a strapline then you're welcome to it. It'd be good to give something back...

Anonymous said...

Hey yo!

Thanks for the props on your blogsite...what a nice suprise when my only friend alert plopped this into my inbox this morning...

Nice that you've actually deleted part of the email - which purely and simply listed the times that many of the Columbia bands are actually playing this weekend. Something that surprisingly a fair few hacks had asked for.On it alongside the bands you mentioned were details of the actual times MGMT, The Manics, The Ting Tings and many other popular beat combo's are playing this weekend that are not mentioned in your edited post.

apologies also yo! for my grammar and bad spelling - I left school at 16 you see and have spent my entire adult life being an obviously substandard "flack". But what great memories I have of these past 13 years and a fantastic cd collection to boot.

fyi: my humour is for my own amusement, it breaks up the day, the drip drip drip of depression caused by dealing with equally humourless people day in, day out who seemingly wait with baited breath to be amused, annoyed or informed by me.

The beauty of music after all is that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. You either like it or you don' don't like the metros or twisted wheel if you don't want too and don't come and see them at reading & leeds. I'm off there soon to drop more puns and bad grammar and sit on a plastic chair in hospitality for the next 3 days.

Good luck with the blog yo!.

james xoxo

Anonymous said...

sorry..i meant to... not spelling iz atrozious

Lost In Showbiz said...

"ma spelling iz atrozious" James: you are forgiven everything. Thanks for stopping by.

Dave the Flack said...

Ahhh but his LOLCAT-speak is perfect.

Also, he does a Gossip Girl-eque "xoxo" so I like him longtime.