Please Don't Compromise My Mediaroom Ecosystem

The following press release runs to about a thousand words, none of which make sense. Or maybe they do? I throw it open to Lydia Curtis at Weber Shandwick, perhaps she could cook this down to about 50 words and then let us all know what it was she was driving at first time round. Then maybe she could let us know why she sent out this impenetrable screed in the first place when she could have just written something we could all understand. Then again, "service assurance solutions enable up-to-the-minute monitoring and analyzing of Microsoft Mediaroom-powered services" probably sits really well with the dorks paying the bills, so who cares? Or, as a reader has it:

This really sounds like it's been translated from Taiwanese via medieval German using a pocket travel translator

Begin forwarded message:
From: "Curtis, Lydia (LDN-WSW)" [lcurtis@webershandwick.com]
Date: 16 June 2008 16:02:14 BDT
To: "Curtis, Lydia (LDN-WSW)"
Subject: Microsoft Adds Agilent and IneoQuest Quality of Service Assurance Solutions to Microsoft Mediaroom IPTV Ecosystem

For Release 6 a.m. PDT
June 16, 2008
Microsoft Adds Agilent and IneoQuest Quality of Service Assurance Solutions to Microsoft Mediaroom IPTV Ecosystem
Growing ecosystem reinforces quality of service for Microsoft Mediaroom-powered offerings.

LAS VEGAS — June 16, 2008 — Microsoft Corp. today announced that Agilent Technologies Inc. and IneoQuest Technologies Inc. have joined the Microsoft Mediaroom ecosystem as Internet Protocol television (IPTV) quality of service (QoS) solution providers. The Agilent and IneoQuest solutions help service providers ensure the highest QoS for their deployments of the award-winning Microsoft Mediaroom IPTV and multimedia software platform without compromising security or network performance.

With the help of Agilent and IneoQuest, consumer interest and adoption of Microsoft Mediaroom services will continue to accelerate. The platform, which reached 1 million subscriber homes in the first quarter of 2008, is now powering connected TV services on more than 2 million TV sets worldwide. Microsoft Mediaroom took 18 months to reach its first million TVs, and only five months to reach its second million, a rate of more than three times faster.
A key component of the Microsoft Mediaroom ecosystem, service assurance solutions enable up-to-the-minute monitoring and analyzing of Microsoft Mediaroom-powered services. With the Agilent and IneoQuest solutions, service providers have a more effective way to quickly detect and resolve QoS issues, which can ultimately help reduce OH PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP