Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Wildly Off Target: 2

I can sense a whole new strand coming on where journalists working in specific areas highlight the spam-a-like crapola that unthinking PRs fling at them every single bloody day of their lives...

Send yours in now.

You can add me to your growing list of journalists who are baffled by the randomness of some of the releases they receive every few hours.

I'm an education correspondent, so why would I want to know about Lamborghini car-branded note-pad computers? If they were giving thousands of the things to schools for free or something, or offering them cheap to teachers, there is a tiny percentage chance that it might make a NIB on a really, really slow day. But even that's unlikely.

Instead they are offering "new levels of portable luxury" with Lamborghini car badges and "sophisticated design [extending] to a black honeycomb grille-effect which emulates a car radiator grille and a leather keyboard surround that completes the sense of power and refinement".

Could they now tell me:
a) Which teachers or 12-year-old school kids they think could afford these things? (no price in the release, unhelpfully, but a Google search suggests they sell for nearly £2,000).

& b) What teachers would risk buying one, given the chances their pupils will either nick it or take the piss out of their tacky taste?

Also, if they're going to send a release to several hundred random journalists you'd think they'd bother to check basic grammar ("under it's bonnet", "details don't end there the striking range branding" and so on).

I'm tempted to respond to their gibberish about the "45 nanometer process", by bombarding them with obscure education jargon.

-----Original Message-----
From: Kay Clark [mailto:kay@tru-pr.co.uk]
Sent: 09 June 2008
To: xxxxxxx, xxxxxxx
Subject: [PR] Press Release: Power, speed, Strength and Beauty. The latest compact addition to the ASUS Lamborghini notebook series roars into the UK

With the launch today of the VX3, ASUS's legendary Lamborghini VX series goes compact providing processing power with new levels of portable luxury.

Aside from the stunning styling sported by all the VX range*, this new power compact features an array of industry leading technology to enhance user enjoyment.

As you would expect from high performance engineering the VX3 runs the latest Penryn-based Intel(r) Core(tm) powerful processor under it's bonnet, providing a turbocharged performance that delivers a notebook simply in a class of its own. Manufactured using the 45-nanometer process, the VX3 performance is complemented by fuel-economy in the shape of a great battery life.

This power compact also features cutting-edge biometric identification system for added data security as well as providing an integrated webcam, discretely incorporated above the screen.

The sapphire crystal widescreen 12.1 inch display provides the ultimate high resolution graphics for size, this rich visual is completed with fantastic quality speakers that speed along the side of the keyboard.

The luxurious design details don't end there the striking range branding* is finished with a robust titanium alloy hinge backbone that together with a premium leather-bound palm rest means that the VX3 exudes luxury, with an interplay of warmth and a cool high-tech aesthetic that mirrors the principle of perfection attained from this visual and tactile balance.

The iconic design and power of Lamborghini's world class cars have inspired the creation of the VX range of top tier laptops including the new VX notebook.

The Lamborghini Notebook series are available in either yellow or black and all feature Lamborghini styling and badges combined with a high-quality lacquer finish and that truly reflects the bright, smooth, elegant and eye-catching essence of the cars.

The sophisticated design extends to a black honeycomb grille-effect which emulates a car radiator grille and a leather keyboard surround that completes the sense of power and refinement.

Now, I might be wrong here, but wouldn't you have to be some sort of mentally subnormal buffoon to want one of these?

1 comment:

----- said...

I could not agree more with youre correspondent's views. PRs are in the business of targetting - so why don't the effin' well target, rather than just carpet-bombing everyone on the Gorkana database?