Bond Is Wack

Have you picked up your free mp3 player from The Sun this week - you know, the "Bond" one? Yeah - of course you have! It's amazing, isn't it? Well, what could possibly make your life any more completely brilliant than rocking one of these bad boys as you troop down to Yates' Wine Lodge while pranging out to a poor quality, illegal download of A View To A Kill through the world's worst pair of headphones? "Do you expect me to talk?" "No, Mr Bond! I expect you to look like an under-employed wedding magician with a startling entry on the offender's register and a debilitating thyroid complaint..." Or, as an LiS reporter has it:

This is spectacularly bad. And, memo to Burton Head Office, Simon Mills isn't, in fact, "the leading men's style commentator", no, he is, alas, the biggest bell-end on Earth...