** MEDIA ALERT ** Cream Presents Pendulum
We are pleased to announce the return of Pendulum to Liverpool on BLAHBLAHBLAH.
Following their sell out performance as part of Liverpool Music Week in December, the drum & bass despots will be bringing their savage beats to the live stage once again, rocking the foundations of Liverpool Uni.
Having seamlessly made the transition from intelligent drum n bass producers to being tipped as ‘most likely to become the next Prodigy”, their infamous trademark sound which has dancefloor impact with electrifying consequences is what has catapulted this trio to success.
After selling over BLAHBLAHBLAH...
2008 is set to be their year, catch them while you can.
Monday, 11 February 2008
The New Worst Press Release Ever Has Arrived
These Drum and Bass "despots" have "savage" beats" that will be "rocking the foundations" of OH JESUS MAKE IT STOP. If you have the stomach for it, try the paragraph that begins, "Having seamlessly...". I promise you won't read a more ineptly worded sentence this year. I know Cream are a bunch of slack-jawed, ex market-trader wide-boys, but surely even they must see this is damaging to their "reputation"? If I were in Pendulum I'd want this person birched. Points, however, for finishing with "2008 is set to be their year, catch them while you can" which translates as "I am an utter fool and I can't think of how to finish this without resorting to the worst, most painful cliché."