Dumb Love

This just in from a reader in the East Midlands. I think, over the course of a few hundred words, the people at urbandfoxes really nail the awfulness of a bad press release. Are you particularly attracted to "treetop boulevard markets", "morning yoga" or the whole, "supping on real ale and organic cider" vibe? What are "main-line reggae artists"? What does "pushing the theme for Peace and Acceptance" mean? Can anyone actually read that first paragraph and make sense of it? Couldn't you have just read it back once? Is that too much to ask? And I really wish PRs would quit with this whole "Hi guys" crap. We're not all in this together, you're trying to flog me something. Just be honest about it.

----forwarded message

Dear LiS
Oddly, I was just flicking through my lunar chart wondering when the best time would be to feel some love.

From: urbanfoxes.co.uk
Date: 4 April 2008 15:45:12 BST
Subject: WEBSITE CONTACT

Hi Guys,
Please find press release for One Love Festival,

30th Anniversary of Bob Marley 1978 One Love concert, A full moon solar eclipse weekend during the Perseid meteor shower.

Bob Marley and The Wailers performed at the One Love Peace concert in Kingston's National Arena with other main-line reggae artists of the day, in an attempt to link Jamaica's feuding political parties; Against all the odds, Marley symbolically joined the hands of bitter rivals Michael Manley and Edward Seaga on stage and unite them in handshake accompanied by a flash of lighting and clap of thunder from the heavens , following the concert, the opposing factions, having seen that their leaders weren't hell bent on killing each other, cooled down the conflict.

In this 30th anniversary, We hope to highlight a landmark occasion and legendary artist while pushing the theme for Peace and Acceptance! Mixing Reggae with Chill Out and Deep Electronic Music!

One Love is a festival like no BLAHBLAHBLAH. Other enticing treats include the treetop boulevard market, healing area, belly dancing, morning yoga classes, interactive art trail, Maypole dancers and chill-out areas, Ethiopian coffee chill out area, as well as a mysterious, hidden sound systems dotted amongst the woodland. Food connoisseurs will sample delicacies from around the globe, while supping on real ale and organic cider, from one of the BLAHBLAHBLAH.

If that’s not enough, the setting for this festival was once home to a BLAHBLAHBLAH famous Perseid meteor shower* takes place, offering an extravaganza of activity, the likes of BLAHBLAHBLAH a special offering of Bob Marley images which will be projected onto the Observatory building, offering visitors something BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH