Friday, 11 July 2008

A Total Ball-Up

I've been trying to imagine how tedious Elizabeth Steel's life must be, having to crank out this sort of pointless rubbish day in and day out. The answer is, clearly, even more tedious than I can imagine, as Ms Steel has been forced into the crushingly awful Beavis & Butthead strategy, whereby on-the-point-of-suicide PRs start crow-barring "hilarious" quips into otherwise bruisingly boring press releases. To whit: "Beating off competition from stiff competition," which manages to be unfunny, crude, badly written and crappy all at the same time! Then there's the stuff about the ball... Oh dear me this is bad. Should Budge PR not be Budget PR? Or, as a regular reader has it:

Hi - these emails seem to be becoming rather frequent.

Thought you might like this one, though. It's not so much the mind-numbingly uninspiring press release that's of interest in this one, as the fact that the PR thought we would actually give a shite about
A) who "Iain" is
B) when he kicked the ball onto the roof.


From: Elizabeth Steel []
Sent: 10 July 2008 11:20
Subject: FW: Biggest Ever Contract Win as Clark Contracts Marks 30 Years ......and the man leading the project wants his ball back

Iain kicked the ball onto the roof was 1976 not 1967 if you are using this story could you please amend?

-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Steel
Sent: 09 July 2008 14:23
Subject: Biggest Ever Contract Win as Clark Contracts Marks 30 Years ......and the man leading the project wants his ball back

BIGGEST EVER CONTRACT WIN AS CLARK CONTRACTS MARKS 30 YEARS ...and the man leading the project wants his ball back

Clark Contracts has kicked off its thirtieth anniversary celebrations in style by landing its biggest ever contract.

The Paisley-headquartered construction firm has been awarded a £7.6 million contract by Renfrewshire Council to refurbish Johnstone High School, part of the Schools Estate Strategy Phase 2A plan.

The team from Clark Contracts starts work on the multi-million pound refurbishment of the 1,200 pupil secondary school in August immediately on completion of a similar project at Castlehead High School.

The refurbishment project is due for completion in 2009 in time for the new school year to begin and will see widespread improvements to the school including the complete renewal of the Mechanical & Electrical Services, installation of a new lift, alterations to room configurations and complete internal redecorations to ensure that the school's facilities fully meet the standards established in Renfrewshire.

Beating off BEATING OFF - BRILLIANT! competition from stiff STIFF - BRILLIANT competition to land the work, Gordon Cunningham MD at Clark Contracts said: "Eighty per cent of our business is repeat business and this is because we consistently deliver a quality service for our customers. This is clearly the case with Renfrewshire Council who have worked with us on a wide range of projects over the last twenty years including most recently Castlehead High School & Houston Primary School."

The project will be led by Iain Blair, Clark Contracts' Commercial Director and former pupil of the school. He is hoping to be reunited with the ball he last saw when he kicked it on to the roof of the gym in 1967.

Media contact for further information: Elizabeth Steel at Budge PR

No comments: