Wildly Off Target: 4

This just in from a reader in a expensive part of old London town:

Dear Caravan People:
1) I am a showbiz hack
2) I am not a member, nor are my readers, of the NEW CARAVAN GENERATION, whatever that might be.
3) I did quite like the New Power Generation but that was not enough to make me read 'Safeguard is advising this new wave of caravanners to ensure that they have had a trial run towing a caravan before venturing onto the UK's motorways." Trial run on what, the bones of Jeremy Clarkson's children?

-----Forwarded Message

Lucy Sinclair [Lucy.Sinclair@skvpr.co.uk]
Subject: SAFEGUARD ISSUES WARNING TO NEW CARAVAN GENERATION

This summer could see a stretch of 2,618 miles of caravans and motorhomes, a distance almost the same as the journey from England to Egypt, hitting the roads of Britain. News that is likely to send shivers down Jeremy Clarkson's' spine! GREAT START! KEEP GOING!

This year A COMMA HERE WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE as many people start their summer caravan adventures, thousands are opting to stay closer to home for their holidays. The credit crunch HERE IT IS! has left many holiday makers feeling the pinch, ditching far-off destinations in favour of the UK's caravan parks. NO PROPER HOLIDAY? BAD LUCK :(

Safeguard, one of the leading providers of caravan and motorhome insurance, is warning first time caravanners in particular about the safety and security risks involved in owning caravan and hitting the roads for the first time. BORING!

Safeguard is advising this new wave of caravanners to ensure that they have
had a trial run towing a BORING! BORING!

Rita Sadler, manager of Safeguard, commented: "Due to BEING BORING many people are investing in BORING STUFF as they allow greater BORINGNESS without having to worry about BEING BORING and THE LIKE. First time caravanners need to consider all aspects of BEING INCREDIBLY BORING etcetc.

Top five tips for new caravanners

1. Research your chosen caravan - think about what kind of layout would
suit AND STILL WITH THE CARAVANS!
2. Be comfortable with the size and weight of the PLEASE STOP
3. Ensure you are aware of hazards when towing and PLEASE!
4. With around 3,500 caravans reportedly NO MORE!
5. Always take your documents with you and know the ENOUGH ALREADY!

For more useful caravanning tips and a glossary of caravanning terminology
visit: www.killmenow.co.uk

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