"But sir, why are you making me redundant? Is it because yet another major investment bank has been plunged into turmoil and we no longer have access to vital finance?"
"Is it because of the pound’s plummeting value against the dollar?"
"Could it be because of an alleged gaffe made by a senior member of the cabinet regarding the overall state of the British economy?"
"Then why would you do this to me?"
"It’s because of your slightly red nose."
"Oh." *kills self*
I can only assume consultant vascular surgeon Brian Newman believes employment tribunals do not apply during the credit crunch?
From: Sara Rizk
Sent: 02 September 2008 12:14
Subject: Cosmetic appointments rise in credit crunch
CREDIT crunch workers are undergoing cosmetic treatments over fears their appearance is holding them back at work.
Consultant vascular surgeon Brian Newman, who runs clinics specialising in the minimally-intrusive treatment of spider and vein threads as well as facial redness, said he has seen a surge in patients keen to change their appearance to avoid discrimination.
He added: “Rosacea and thread veins on the face can knock sufferers’ confidence and sadly, there are misconceptions about the cause of face reddening. I’ve treated patients who are worried colleagues will mistake a red nose as a sign of alcoholism and others who are concerned their acne-like rosacea is a sign of poor diet and health."
“In our image conscious times, poor self confidence can hold people back from achieving their full potential at work.”
He said: “Appointments are up by 60 per cent at the Clinics. It has been well documented that people invest in themselves in times of economic instability, and we are definitely seeing evidence of this. Workers are nervous about their future career prospects and are taking steps to make sure they are not overlooked because of their personal appearance.”
Friday, 12 September 2008
That credit crunch is a bugger, isn't it? It's bad enough being skint and not being able to sell (or even heat) your house, or afford a much-needed holiday, but imagine being ugly too! That really would be the final straw, wouldn't it? There's something so unpleasant about this press release, it actually makes me want to go and wash my hands (then book some corrective surgery for my revolting face). Really, doesn't the phrase, "Workers are nervous about their future career prospects and are taking steps to make sure they are not overlooked because of their personal appearance" make you ache a bit inside? Or, as an LiS reader has it: