Wednesday, 3 September 2008

A Lost In Showbiz Masterclass In Action

This LiS reader - based deep within a global media colossus - has taken exception to almost every part of the following PR email and has, in turn, given it a thorough going over. I have nothing more to add - let the Fiskology begin:

The Blake Sound Returns With The Release Of The Second Album, And So It Goes, By Top British Boyband

Blake, the award-winning boyband whose uniquely harmonious fusion [ARE YOU SURE?] of popular, classical and operatic numbers [ISN’T OPERA CLASSICAL?] epitomise the zeitgeist of modern feel-good music [HOW? AND FEELGOOD IS ONE WORD], are releasing their long-awaited [BY WHOM?] second album And So It Goes.

Their debut album, Blake, went straight in at Number One in the UK classical album chart and hit the Top 20 in the UK pop album chart, going gold within three weeks. It subsequently catapulted the boys to a stunning success at the Classical Brits Awards where it won the coveted accolade as Album of the Year as voted for by the public.
Now And So It Goes looks to build on the band’s remarkable success in capturing the hearts of a devoted and fast growing audience from across the spectrum [EXACTLY HOW FAR ACROSS THE SPECTRUM DOES THEIR FANBASE EXTEND?] of music lovers.

Featuring a range of songs including (Chasing Cars, Time To Say Goodbye, The Closest Thing To Crazy, Up Where We Belong, Nella Fantasia and a unique take on Wild Mountain Thyme) [DO WE NEED TO EXPLAIN THE USE OF PARENTHESES TO YOU?] the album showcases the passion and virtuosity of four very British boys, all trained as choristers who met on Facebook [LEARN ABOUT COMMAS PLEASE. THIS SUGGESTS THERE ARE PEOPLE TRAINED SPECIFICALLY AS CHORISTERS WHO MET ON FACEBOOK] just 18 months ago and quickly realised that together they had something uniquely [OH, LEARN WHAT UNIQUE MEANS AGAIN, YOU IDIOT!] special to offer music lovers.

Their soaring harmonies, youthful energy and genuine charm touched a chord with a wide range of fans who quickly identified with the Blake Sound [WHY THE CAPITAL?] as something fresh and distinct, almost redolent of the Boys [PRESUMING THE BOYS ARE BLAKE THEMSELVES, SINCE YOU’VE ALREADY CALLED THEM ‘THE BOYS’, THEN IT’S NOT SURPRISING THEIR RECORD IS REDOLENT OF THEM] with its harmonies and vibes and yet operatic in some of its crescendos [DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING? REALLY?].

On stage Blake are currently [AT THIS VERY MOMENT? AS I READ THIS? ARE YOU SURE?] performing to audiences totalling well over 100,000 fans in their supporting role on the Katherine Jenkins Stately Homes Tour and they will be bringing their on-stage blend of passion, charm and charisma to supporting the popular soprano again at the end of the year in an extensive arena tour throughout the UK.

They are also taking their music to a global audience this year with tours in Japan and Australia on the frenetic schedules [HOW MANY SCHEDULES HAVE THEY GOT FOR 2008 THEN?] for 2008. Among the many who have expressed their love of the Blake Sound [CAPS AGAIN!] include Keira Knightly, Kate Middleton and Kevin Spacey who have all been wowed by the band’s music and on-stage presence [GIVE ME THE QUOTES TO PROVE IT. THIS SEEMS VERY UNLIKELY].

To demonstrate the reach of their appeal, the band has also brought Twickenham to its feet, before a ball was played [‘BEFORE A BALL WAS PLAYED’? IF YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SPORT, DON’T TRY TO SOUND LIKE YOU DO], with their stunning rendition of the England Rugby anthem “Swing Low”.

As well as devoting themselves to their music, the band also spends time individually and collectively supporting two charities close to their hearts which work ceaselessly for Britain’s armed forces and the loved ones who also pay the ultimate price for their heroism [GOOD FOR THEM. BUT THIS SUGGESTS THE LOVED ONES ARE PAYING THE ULTIMATE PRICE FOR THEIR HEROISM. ARE RELATIVES OF SOLDIERS REALLY PERFORMING HEROIC DEEDS AND BEING KILLED AROUND THE UK?] - Help For Heroes and War Widows.
The new album has been described as one of the most awaited musical events of 2008 [BY WHO EXACTLY?]. Fans will not be disappointed [FANS RARELY ARE - THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THEM].

For Press Information including interview and photo requests, plus review copies, please contact or at Ian Monk Associates.

1 comment:

monkey_business said...

Your contributor has made a fine effort on this. It really is a dreadful piece of writing, never mind PR. My favourite part is the parentheses around the list of songe - I've not a clue how anyone could even accidentally do that.

I have a couple of other points to note, while I'm here. First, I suspect that "The Boys" were not particularly responsible for bringing Twickenham to its feet. My guess would be that it is more down to the man on the tannoy saying something along the lines of "Please stand for the England rugby anthem" .

And also, from the very same sentence, who knew that a rugby stadium had feet in the first place?